Great East Swim - 20th June 2015

Probably my favourite event ever.  I love this river, I love this race.  Seen here with hubby and Annette Corby just before the start.

I have had it pointed out to me that in every single wetsuit photo I get pictured in, I am pulling the suit away from my neck.  Confirmation folks, that I suffer terribly from claustraphobia and the minute that suits on, I genuinly cant breath.

Love this photo. x.

Great Pier Swim - 12th July 2015

No pictures as all on my lonesome today.  Chris did enter, but double booked his diary !   So, with only one car I had to park at the finishing line and walk the 3k back to the start line.  What a pain !

Another great swim for me this year.  Came in 5th overall ahead of some BOSS swimmers which really made my day !!!   Sorry guys.   No pictures, just short and sweet. x.

TEAM DOE - 26th July 2015 - The Maldon Triathlon

Swimmer - Me.   Cyclist - Colin Doe.    Runner - Kerry Marshall

So Team Doe are back in action for the third year running.  4th place in Year 1.  1st place in Year 2 and that was after I broke my leg exiting the lake, and another 1st place in Year 3.

Despite not being Mr Doe's PA anymore, Team Doe had vowed to continue to fly the flag for ED&S for another year.  I don't get to see my fellow team mates any more but knew there was only one of us finding the time to train these days and that was Kerry.  She was having a fantastic year.  So, it was all down to Kerry to bring us home.

What an awful day it was.  Half way through the event, the heavens opened and it remained relentless.  Shame the rain couldn't have come a bit earlier for the swim because the river certainly needed some water !    I have never ever, in all my years competing, been in a competition where the tide was out and all the swimmers had to crawl the course on their hands and knees.  It was hilarious.

The Blackwater Estuary is famous for its mud runs and so all swimmers were absolutely caked in mud, sinking way down to their knees and then trying to suck each leg back out again.  So funny.

I, on the other hand was so worried that my 'healed' broken leg was in for a repeat performance, that I decided to pull along the mud on my belly!   We had about 2 foot of water, that's all.

Once we turned the corner, we found some deeper water but it was short lived as we had to do two laps.  So once again, back on my belly, mud waddling.  Twas rather funny though.

It was a long run from the river to my cyclist (well, long for me is actually about 100metres!).  I tentatively tried to jog and wobble to make sure I reached Colin in one piece this time.  It's been less than a year since I had a metal plate fitted in my ankle and so running with bare feet on concrete is not ideal.

Colin did an amazing bike section with a personal best time.  Kerry and I completely underestimated the time he would take and thinking he was still about 10minutes away, Kerry disappeared off to the loo, just as he came around the corner. Typical.

So, despite my mud waddling and the slowest transition in history from cycle to run, Team Doe still bought home the gold.  Another great event which, to my horror, almost went down in history as Colin Corby very nearly beat me on the swim.  Phew.  Must start training !

Windermere - 1 length - 10miles - 13th September 2015

If ever there was an event that ought to have been given some thought, it was this one.  I can usually get by with the one or two milers or even a 5k, but 16k - hell no.  This one requires some training.  Things have been pretty hectic in the Rate household this year.  I've been busy coaching some ironmen and a solo channel swimmer and I have also offered the service of writing training programmes which are extremely time consuming and somewhat stressful.  To be held responsible for someone elses dream challenge is quite a task.  One that I love getting involved in, but if I get it wrong, I would feel bloomin awful.

So, combined with a few school teaching jobs, working at Trifarm, coaching at the club, continuing to provide an occasional secretarial service to my old firm AND trying to get a Herbalife nutritional business off the ground, when was I ever going to find time to train for my little trip up the length of Windermere!

I popped a few dates in my diary to leave free for myself, but then as usual the inevitable happens.  A shift needs covering, or a swimmer wants some help, so my training days were very soon becoming a write off.

I did manage to squeeze in a straight 5k at the pool - woopie, and then with just 3 weeks to go until my Windermere challeng, a free Saturday popped up in my diary.  Right, I thought, I am just going to get in at Trifarm and swim round and round in circles until I have swum 10 miles. 20 x 800m loops. Doesn't get much more boring than that.  I think the record at Trifarm for the most amount of laps in one shift was about 16, so there was another reason for me to consider doing this.   I love a challenge and if it means holding a record along the way, then I'm up for it.  And it was the only chance I was going to get before the big day to actually see if I was capable of this distance.

So armed with 3 bottles of Herbalife H30 carb/electrolyte mix and a Prolong bottle in case of emergencies, I headed off to the farm.  If nothing else, it would be a great 'mind' training experience. All swimmers know that its far easier to swim one length (i.e. windermere), than to swim in circles 20x.

The course at the farm is marked out with 100m buoys, so I decided that I would divide the lap into four.  Swim the first 200m concentrating on my spear action, the second quarter on quadrant timing, the third quarter on the recovery phase, in specific my rubbish high elbow, and the last 200m on my propulsive phase.  This worked a treat.  All I focused on was the next 200m and what drill it was and then I gave myself a 1 min nutritional break every mile.  Can't believe how easy I found it.  Just swim to the feed as Tony would say, or in my case swim to the next drill and then the feed was a bonus.

So I did it.  A glorious sunny day and the wind kicked up and made it hard for the final hour but a very comfortable 4hrs 54 minutes of complete drills.  So, that was it, Windermere distance now achievable, so just pray for good weather and a warm lake on the day.

We stayed in a beautiful B&B just a few kilometres from the start at Low Wray.  We travelled up on the Saturday, I was swimming on the Sunday and then rushing back home Monday to pick up Millie.  Dogs !!!!!   Holidays have never been the same.

B&B welcome.  Sweet. 

On arrival, we had a lot of rushing about to do.  There was no way Chris would manage rowing 10 miles with his bad back so we hired an electric boat.  The boat company was 5 miles up the lake so I dropped him off there so he could steer the boat up to the start line whilst I took the car back to meet him.  We moored up for the night and headed off for a quick bite to eat then an early night as the alarm was going to be set for 5.30am.

The event was fabulously organised.  One kayak/boat to every swimmer.  They called us down 15/20 swimmers at a time and the swimmers were led into the water one at a time to be hooked up with their support vessel.

I was in the last wave which was worrying as it appeared to be the fastest.  I decided to pace myself from the start and just plodded off messing about, pulling faces at Chris on every breath.  Being in the last wave with about 12 other swimmers, I soon realised that there were some elites in there.  I slipped behind and had to really focus on not worry about it.  I later learnt that the winner was sub 4 hours!  Elites indeed.  Chris re-assured me at every 1/2 hr feed that I was making ground on the previous wave, but it didnt seem to help.  I knew I needed to hold it together, dont worry, don't pick up the pace, just keep it relaxed and simple.



I think it was about 4 miles in that I found myself amongst loads of other swimmers.  What a relief.  Now I happy to have the company and now had something to focus on.  Just keep looking at the next swimmer in front of you and tick them off one at a time.

Chris had strict instructions to stop me every 1/2 hour for a feed and this didn't always go to plan.  The string that my bottle was attached too kept getting tangled in the boat window.  So, one minute I was drinking and the next the bottle was catapulted out of my hand.  Somewhat frustrating and a few explitives were exchanged from time to time, but on the whole, considering my pilot was having to steer a very slow boat against a current and waves, he did a grand job really.


I still can't understand the logic of stopping all swimmers after 4 miles to ask them to hand a rubber band in which was around my wrist.  We had to swim to the side and of course, the conjestion there with so many kayaks all waiting for their swimmer to return after hot chocolate and all sorts of other rubbish, made it a time consuming rule.  Why?   Swimmers were allowed to abandon ship at any time on the course, so I am not sure what relevance there was of knowing whether they had made it to the 4 mile stage.  Oh well, better do as I was told.  Swam in, pushed on past the crowd and eventually found myself a fishing net to drop my band in whilst shouting out my race number to the marshall.  That was it?? weird.

Queing up for the wrist band saga

So, I finished it.  5hrs 7 mins later and this short video sums up the day.  Came 12th out of 117 swimmers and am pretty chuffed that I didn't get bored or lose focus.  If anything, I just wanted it finished so I could move off to the pub.

And that folks is another story.  Despite finishing it around 12pm, I had stupidly left my phone in the car way back at the start thinking I wouldn't need it.  The car keys were with Chris who was stranded out in the middle of the lake because there was no mooring at Low Wray.

Mmmm.   Now what?   We were yelling at one another across the water with different ideas as to how I could get to the boat, including I wade out and he'll try to bring the boat in as close as possible. Bad move, now he was stuck on some rocks !!!   Ooops.  That won't go down too well with Bowness Marina !   So, with the help of some kayakers they managed to heave him off the rocks and push him back out again but how could I swim to him and climb on a boat with no ladder and all my gear.   Another Mmmmmmm.  So, we hijacked a kayak to go out to Chris to retrieve his car keys.  I yelled across the lake "TAKE THE BOAT BACK TO BOWNESS".  I'll get a taxi and meet you there.  Famous last words.  With no phone communication, it took me over 2 hours to get a lift to Fell Foot, then another half hour to fight the traffic back to Bowness where I eventually found him.  So, another little adventure for the Rate household.  Thank you Chris for being the perfect Captain, the video says it all. xxxx    One Length of Windermere

Tony Marshall - BLOG courtesy of Jane Bell

UNSTOPPABLE: TONY MARSHALL’S QUEST TO CONQUER THE ENGLISH CHANNEL

Tony Marshall.  What could I possibly tell you about Tony Marshall?  Those who know him might refer to him as a joke cracking, truck driving, mirror gazing, ice-cream eating, hair sculpting, smooth talking softie.  At precisely 03:58 BST on 16th July 2015 Tony Marshall staggered and stumbled through knee-deep waters, marched onto a deserted beach outside Calais then turned around and held his hands high as he staked his claim on French soil.  Tony Marshall?  Who is he? Why he’s that larger than life joker who SWAM THE ENGLISH CHANNEL!!

Me and Tony go back five or so years. A member of the Chalkwell Redcaps, we’ve swum, laughed and cried plenty together. Tony was the one who pulled me through my 11 degrees two-hour CSPF qualifying swim for Team DUKES Channel Relay back in 2013.  More to the point he was the other half of the double act that was the ‘2Tones’, being very close to my sorely missed wingman, Tony Mellett. Their relationship was not dissimilar to that shared between Roald Dahl’s Mr. & Mrs. Twit. So many fond memories of prank-pulling and one-upmanship.  Giving wrong directions, filling swim bags with stones, stealing clothes or tying up their arms and legs, making apple pie beds.  The list goes on.  A pair of absolute clowns….  Channel Fever struck us all in 2013 and our Dover Roadtrips began as we prepared for respective relay swims.  We howled and scoffed our way through various camping and caravan trips and tried to do a bit of swimming along the way. Take ourselves seriously? Not capable I’m afraid.

Mellett Memorial Smiley Hat Swim Tours 2014. 

God Bless you my friend xx

Hideous conditions in 2013 sadly put a stop to the 2Tones first relay attempt with the Southend Sharks and they turned back just six miles off the French Coast.  A re-group and shuffle saw formation of the 2014 team, the Southend Sea Urchins, but that team was also destined for heartbreak when 2Tone Tony Mellett collapsed and died very suddenly after one of our regular pool sprint sessions.  Devastated comes nowhere near the upset that ripped through and still grips our swimming community.  Sarah Mellett gave me her husband’s favourite swim cap as a keepsake and insisted that we carry on.  And so the ‘Mellett Memorial Smiley Swim Hat Tours’ were born.  The Urchins’ French Invasion took on a new meaning and in addition to their personal vendetta with the Channel they smashed it in memory of their fallen comrade in September 2014. Swimmer Lizzie Long sported Tony’s Smiley for their last leg and for their Moment de Victoire.

Shortly afterwards Tony Marshall fessed up that he’d booked an English Channel solo for the summer of 2015. He had been badly affected by the death of his closest friend and wanted to swim in Tone’s memory raising money for Little Havens Children’s Hospice, Tony Mellett’s chosen charity for the ill-fated Sharks 2013 Channel relay attempt.  He wanted to give something back and to make a difference to the lives of terminally ill children and their grieving families.  I did not doubt his capabilities but, while understanding and applauding his intentions, my instant reaction was that he simply hadn’t given himself enough time to prepare. He didn’t have any significant distance swimming to his name and, with the cold water season just around the corner, there would be limited opportunities to crack out decent long-uns in the sea until May/June time. Why 2015 Tony?  Good on you, do it.  Yes great. But give yourself a chance man!!

She might very well look all smiles. But as soon as that swim cap goes on she morphs into a proper BIATCH. Believe you me

Tony’s plans weren’t all fickle though.  He hooked up with Lorraine Rate, AKA Mrs. Tyrant, and tasked her with the job of whooping him into shape enough to make said crossing. When I say shape I don’t mean that he wanted her to transform him into some svelte and buff long-distance swoon merchant.  Neither man nor beast could reduce Tony’s appetite for meat pies and Mr. Whippy.  No, Lorraine worked him bloody hard. Doing all that sprinty stuff which would increase his aerobic capacity and endurance. Or some other shit that I know nothing about and will leave to her to explain…..  Tony was a willing and committed water slave of Lorraine’s, obediently following all of her orders when it came to horror sessions.  As an expert in nutrition for endurance swimming she tried her hardest to enforce a healthy eating regime alongside his fitness program.  But if you took that horse to the water he’d not only drink but gallop off for seconds.  Mostly of the secret variety!!

7 hours oh yeah!!!! 7 hours with Tony Marshall is an endurance sport in a category of its very own :)

As the 2015 training season opened up Tony took weekly trips down to Dover to train with Freeda Streeter and the Channel Swimming Crew.  With my own (stupidly) long distance swimming plans for the year looming, I travelled there too and we spent the best part of six weekends training together.  We upped our time spent in the water from four to five to six and to seven hours.  By the end we were swimming back to back Saturday and Sunday cracking out 13 hours over the weekend.  And when we weren’t swimming we were laughing, camping and eating.  It was during these activities that we had our heart to hearts.  Tony wanted this swim so badly.  In spite of him saying ‘If I don’t make it, I don’t make it, but at least I will have tried’, his desire for success was written all over his face.  Pep talks ensued aplenty.  Just as much to quash my own anxieties as to boost his confidence.  The conversation that we came back to time and time again was that time should be irrelevant.  ‘Don’t think for one minute that this swim is going to be over quickly’.  ‘Swim between feeds’.  ‘Kill the time’.  ‘Head down and keep going’.  ‘Prepare yourself for 21 hours in the water’.  Blah de blah de blah!!!!!  Another favourite technique was visualisation.  ‘Have you seen the end Tone?  Have you pictured yourself rocking up on the beach in France?’.  ‘Yeah, a million times’, ‘What does it look like?’, ‘Well I’m punching the air and kissing the sand’.  ‘Cool, hold that image.  You might need it’. Again, just as much to encourage him as to give myself a good talking to.  By the time Tony’s swim window opened he was rattling off all the right words without any prompting.  He knew exactly what he had to do and exactly how to do it.  Unstoppable.

Tony’s ‘Unstoppable’ bracelet. Can’t stop eating McDonalds either….

Tony’s support crew on the day would be head coach Lorraine Rate, secret lover Matthew Skidmore, Southend Shark and Urchin John Willis and myself (not sure what title to give myself here so let’s just settle with the usual: Bitch).  His tide window opened on 15th July and we needed to be prepared to bolt down to Dover at the drop of a hat to board the pilot vessel Sea Satin, Captained by Lance Oram.  We watched the weather reports obsessively, second-guessed as to when we’d be off and slowly but surely came around to the idea that we might, just might get out on day one of Tony’s window.  Yeah Wednesday 15th into Thursday 16th, that’s when we would kick off.  Set off in the dark, swim into the light…..

Meet the team 

Myself and John travelled to Lake Bala in North Wales on Friday 10th for the annual BLDSA Championships.  Arriving home very late on Sunday evening, soaking wet and knackered after a seven hour drive, we thought we’d get a bit of a breather before heading for the Continent.  But on Tuesday afternoon, with our cars not yet unpacked and kayaks still strapped to the roofs, things started rumbling.  An e-mail pinged into our inboxes ‘07:00 Wednesday morning.  Be prepared to meet at the Marina.  Call back at 19:30hrs for confirmation’.  And there it was.  Just like that.  Status Amber gave way to a green light.  Shit.  Totally unprepared.  Scrabble around getting bags together, ring out for a pizza (no time for supermarket shopping), alarm clocks set for 03:30 and hit the road.

Found anything down there John?

When we arrived in the Marina the wind was howling.  White horses were visible out in the Channel and I seriously thought that the plug would (and should) be pulled.  But no.  We locked and loaded, submitted our passport details then chugged out around the harbour wall and approached Shakespeare Beach.  Lorraine got out the sunblock and Vaseline and began smothering it in every crack and orifice.  Well not quite.  She wasn’t prepared to go ‘below deck’ and rather matter-of-fact questioned ‘Who wants to do Tony from behind?’.  That unfortunate job fell to John.  Well I was filming so it couldn’t possibly have been my duty.  Besides I’m a married woman and that would be just wrong!!  And as if doing him from behind wasn’t bad enough, there was the FRONT to do too.  While I leave that to your imagination I’ll work on erasing the images and trauma that said groin greasing have left me with…..

Tony on Shakespeare Beach. Next stop France!!

Tony Plonked himself overboard and swam ashore to begin his epic crossing.  Off went the siren and in he went.  Into what must have been four foot waves…..  Again came that feeling ‘this really isn’t the day for a solo’, ‘have we jumped the gun?’, ‘should we have said no and waited for a better day?’.  The boat rocked and rolled.  Sometimes Tony was above us, sometimes below.  Standing was virtually impossible and there were many falling over incidents.  Queasiness set in and I clearly remember saying ‘there’s no way I’m going to make it on this boat without throwing up’.  The name ‘Sea Satin’ soon morphed into ‘Sea Sick’ in my mind.  I took myself quietly around to the other side of the boat and released my breakfast.  Not once, not twice, hell not even three times.  Oh bollocks.  We’d been going less than an hour……

Lovely day for a gentle swim….

Tony favours breathing to the left so he was positioned starboard where he’d be able to keep an eye on the boat better.  The water was rough as you like on that side.  He swam a fair slap out from the boat and calling him in for feeds took some time.  We lost the reel at one point and had to stop the boat to fish it out.  After a couple of hours the pilots moved him to the more sheltered port-side.  And as he switched sides, so did I.  Well it would be most unfair and rude to yak over somebody swimming the Channel eh?

Smiley support swim :)

Under CSPF rules Tony wasn’t allowed a support swimmer in until he’d been going for three hours.  He started asking for me, ‘Jane, when you getting in?’, ‘Come on, swim with me’.  Oh Christ, OK, I’ll get changed.  One layer off.  Hurl.  Two off.  Barf.  Cozzy on.  Puke puke puke.  GET ME OFF THIS SODDING BOAT!!  I dived in and the water was surprisingly (shockingly) cold.  Gasping for air as the cold reflex hit I swam to catch him up.  I remember Lorraine telling me about being a support swimmer for a crossing a few years earlier.  How it was actually quite stressful as you are not allowed to touch the swimmer or overtake them.  Well there I was, green about the gills but with fresh shoulders and having to keep the brakes on.  There was no way I wanted to jeopardise Tony’s crossing so I made sure not to commit any terminal offences as I swam alongside him for a full hour.

One sick puppy……

Sea Sick was being tossed about in the waves and there was no stable point to fix my gaze on.  A most disorienting experience.  I had hoped that being in the water would go some way towards quelling my queasiness but it didn’t and I heaved several times in the water, glad to get out when my hour was up.  Climbing back aboard there came the conundrum.  What to do first?  Throw up?  Or get dressed?  Throwing up seemed the sensible option.  So off to feed the fish once more before retiring to the upper deck to get dressed.  With the boat rocking and my stomach churning this was no mean feat.  I managed to get my swim suit off before lying back in my dry robe.  OK I’ll just stay here for a bit with my eyes closed…… In a semi-coma I could hear myself shouting ‘come on, get dressed, don’t let yourself get cold’, but body and mind were well and truly out of synch.  The travel pills I’d taken were making me drowsy.  They’d have done better to stop me puking.  I lay flat on my back fighting my head for a full 15 minutes before finally summonsing the energy to get dry and dressed then promptly conked out.  Lorraine, Matthew and John.  Over to you.  This ‘support crew’ member is totally useless….

Feeding time at the zoo. He got peaches, we got pizza 

I simply must commend the rest of the Team for the attention that they paid to our swimmer.  Feeds were prepared and administered every half hour.  Words of encouragement were shouted.  Banter was exchanged.  I joined in on the occasions that I wasn’t barfing or unconscious but it was they who kept the whole operation running to schedule.  The pilots were second to none too, with Lance Oram, Sean ‘Foxy’ and Dan Hawkes encouraging and abusing Tony every step of the way.  The observer was Jeff Cox, an amenable chap himself married to a long distance swimmer.  He was full of useful information about so many aspects of Channel swimming.  Ask a question and he would answer.  He showed me the rule-of-thumb ‘formula’ for working out the expected crossing time, apparently all sussed by the time the swimmer hits the South-West shipping lane just five miles into the swim!  In the end it turned out to be very accurate indeed.  Amazing stuff and borne out of years and years of experience of escorting nutters like Tone across La Manche.  From that info the pilots could start thinking about where their swimmer might emerge from the water.   They had all sorts of maps and mathematical-looking gadgets below deck but I quickly realised that these were highly flexible guys who, above all else, wanted to keep spirits light and not have their swimmer focus on anything else but the next feed.  Whenever Tony asked ‘how much further’ they would point towards France and say ‘about that far’.  No more info and actually the best way to deal with the question!  It was like being on a pirate ship with all the raucous laughter emanating from their cabin.  All day and all night long they kept it up.  I wouldn’t have been at all surprised if they didn’t have a parrot down there with them or break out into a medley of sea shanties….. The humour aboard rubbed off on Tony too.  Thinking of his chosen charity, he regularly enquired as to how the children were getting along at Little Havens.  And coming up for air he would shout an assortment of words and demands in our direction.  ‘Love You!!’, ‘Peaches’, ‘Painkillers’, and ‘Cup of tea’ were regular features.  At one point his arse went off and he looked up at us to check if we’d noticed.  We did Tone.  You stinker.  He asked for jaffa cakes, even though he knew we didn’t have any and even asked Lance for a drag on his fag.  Yeah mate, that’d help……

Sea Sick and Smiley Flag from the water

Chase that ferry boys!!

Matthew had a wonderful support swim with Tony, taking in his camera and capturing footage from a perspective that I’ve never before seen on a Channel crossing.  Tony sported a pair of Smiley trunks and a matching cap courtesy of Gary Standen of Torquay based ‘Happy Wild Swimming Caps’.  Gary had knocked up a Smiley flag too and this flapped in the breeze over the side of the boat.  Happy and wild, yeah that’s what this swim was all about.  John went in for the next support swim and there was a near miss with DFDS Seaways (on a rare day that they weren’t striking).  Ferry and tanker dodging, just how Channel swimming is supposed to be!

Take my hand and we’ll make it I swear

Into the Separation Zone we went.  We put on silly wigs to mark the halfway point and blasted Bon Jovi’s ‘Living on a Prayer’ to up Tony’s spirits.  He punched the air in time to the music, although I’m sure the lift he got from knowing he that he was mid-Channel was off-set by the sinking reality that he had to swim another ten plus hours before he would hit France.  Meh, nothing else to do so head down and on he went, swimming a consistent pace and never once complaining.

Night time smiles :)

Darkness fell so on with the green flashy LED lights.  Tony had one pinned to his butt cheeks but had to have one on his goggles too.  The sensible thing to do at this point would have been to change to clear goggles but he wanted to stick with his tinted prescription ones.  Hmmmm?  What is there to see but the floodlit boat?  But OK and on he went.  He also had his watch on and had been checking it regularly since setting off all those hours ago.  Double Hmmmmm??  It was my turn to jump back in and swim next to him so ditto with the LEDs.  With my clear goggles on I could see fuck all in neither blackness nor glare.  Tony was obsessed about swimming in the spot light outside the pilots cabin and it didn’t take a genius to work out why…..  After an uneventful hour I got out and spoke my mind about the goggle situation.  The pilots called him in for a bollocking.  The air turned blue with sailor cursing.  Sometimes a good string of expletives is the only way of getting a point across.  Firm but fair, Tony was ordered to switch to clear goggs and at the end of the conversation Foxy shouted at him ‘Oh and stop all this asking about where you are.  You’re in the middle of the fucking English Channel.  You’re exactly where we need you to be right now.  Just keep doing what you’re doing.  Listen to our instructions, obey and you’ll make it.  Follow the boat.  We know where we are going.  And GIVE ME THAT FUCKING WATCH’.  Tony dutifully followed orders and it didn’t take him long to settle into his night swim.  Confident to swim away from the light now he calmed down massively.  Just in time for the mist to set in……  Fog horns filled the midnight air.  One could describe it as eerie but magical would be an equally fitting description.  I got semi-dry again and dozed off into another seasick/shivvery/drug induced coma……

Land ahoy!!!!!!!

When I came to again the lights on the French shore were significantly closer.  I was pleased to see that Tony was holding pace and that the pilots were still happy.  There were fish a-plenty about and a big shoal was approaching.  There was no point in shouting for him to change course as the little bastards were everywhere.   One got tangled up around Tony’s neck and, with his clear goggles on, the look of surprise and fear was hard to miss.  He sprinted away like a startled rabbit.  Only to swim into a shoal of jelly fish and get stung on the arm……  Many would have freaked at this point and got out.  Not Tony though.  He was on a mission now.  ‘You’re SO close’, we shouted (we knew there was a good six hours left in it but what he didn’t know couldn’t kill him.  Right?).  16 hours in came the first and only wobble.  Tony’s shoulder was playing up and he shouted ‘how much longer’.  ‘You’re doing great, we can see France, it’s really really close now’.  Oh the lies, the lies and the lies.  How they go on and on…….  ‘I’ve only got an hour left in me’, he proclaimed.  Time to pull another card out of the deck.  ‘Tone, remember that picture of you invading France?  Call it up now and hold onto it.  Now is the time.  See the end and go for it.  Unstoppable mate. Unstoppable’.  Motivational speke was hurled at him from every single one of us.  ‘You’re bang on track’, ‘No way are you giving up now’, ‘Think of the children’, ‘SHUT UP AND SWIM’.  Tony ploughed on in utter defiance towards the lights of Calais as they grew nearer and clearer.

Tony, Calais, we’re coming to get ‘ya!!!!!

As they did myself, Lorraine and Matthew changed into our swim gear to see him home.  John unfortunately had to stay on the boat.  Somebody had to be there to help Tony get changed ASAP into warm and dry clothes.  After such an extended time in the water his core temperature would surely have taken a beating and, having stormed the beach with Tony in 2014 as part of the Urchins relay team, John so very kindly agreed to do that honour.  I was, and remain, thankful to him for making that decision.  I had a score to settle with the Channel having been ‘off shift’ when my relay team touched down in 2013 and with a pilot who refused to let us stake our claim on France as a team.  The rib was deployed and in we got, sprinting to catch Tony up as he approached the silo just the other side of the ferry port at Calais.  When he promised me a trip to France I had no idea it would be so romantic……

Seconds away from the French Invasion……

Tony hit the shallows, stood up and began wading his way in.  He staggered and fell.  We hung on back, unable to assist or overtake.  ‘ON YOUR FEET CHANNEL SWIMMER’, we shouted.  ‘FINISH IT OFF NOW’.  He stood up and stumbled his way into ankle deep waters.  We could hear him chuckling to himself.  The pre-dawn air was thick with emotion.  Bloody hell, he’s done it.  ‘CLEAR THE WATER TONY, CLEAR THE WATER!!!!!’.  He kept on walking, his back to us the whole time.  And then there it was.  No more water between him and the sea wall.  ‘TURN AROUND TONY!!!!!!  YOU’VE DONE IT!!!!  YOU’VE FINISHED!!!!!  TURN AROUND!!!!!’.  He turned and punched the air.  Lorraine ran up to him and grabbed hold of him.  ‘I’ve done it’, he shouted softly, ‘I’ve done it!!!!  I swam to France.  I swam to France!!!!!’.  Brief interlude for bottom lip quivering, group hugs and photo opportunities……………

Tony Marshall. CHANNEL SWIMMER!!!!!!

A few brief moments in the sand but in our hearts forever. For Tony xx

We were probably only on that beach for around five minutes and how the cops didn’t descend on us is beyond me.  The noise we were making.  Shouting, screaming, rejoicing.  Tony fell to his knees and kissed the sand.  Then he turned to me and said ‘Hey will you write in the sand for me?’.  ‘Sure Tone, what shall I write?’.  He looked me right in the eyes and whispered ‘For Tony’.  Cue bottom lip quivverage take two.  In the intensity of the whole boat crew thing (puking, supporting, swimming, sleeping, puking) I hadn’t once thought of what motivational factors must have been going through Tony’s mind for his 20 hours and 12 minutes in the water.  But those two brief words summed up his journey.  Tony had booked this solo in the aftermath of the untimely death of our closest friend.  He had raised a significant sum for Tony Mellett’s favourite local charity and he missed that man every bit as I did.  Every day.  Every swim.  All the bloody time.

Our mate looked out for you every step of the way Tone. I have absolutely no doubt about that xx

While we had done our bit to support him and gee him along his merry way, it had been Tony Mellett who had kept him going through the darker moments.  That’s what the Smiley Faces were all about.  His own slant on the Mellett Memorial Smiley and all the adventures it has had since Tony’s death.  For Tony?  Yeah, of course FOR TONY.  Our writing didn’t stay for long in the wet sand.  But long enough to honour a great man and for us to reflect.  With tears in our eyes we swam back to the boat and slept all the way home…..

To date Tony’s efforts have raised nearly £2,000 for Little Havens.  Please do visit his fundraising page at https://www.justgiving.com/Tonys-channel-swim.  If not to donate then just to read his ‘Why’ story.  It certainly moves me every time I read it.  What an amazing place the hospice is and what great work it does for youngsters and their families facing such awfully sad times.

Tony Marshall.  What can I say?  Blinding swim mate.  Bloody brilliant.  First Redcap to swim the Channel.  Such a great statement.  Such a great cause.  Thanks for having me along for the ride.  For the laughter along the way, for the heart to hearts and for memories that will last a lifetime.  So many more swims to be conquered.  Take a bit of time now then start plotting.  You truly are unstoppable.  This is just the beginning :)

Here’s chief whip Lorraine’s epic movie take on the swim.  If you can down tools for 40 minutes then go ahead and watch.  If you’re too busy for that then please have a think about the reasons why people do crazy horse-shit stuff.  On the inside of every story of endurance there’s always a deeper quest.  This was a story of massive loss and of one man’s struggle to keep his friend’s dreams alive by making a change and helping people in need.

God Bless You All.    Channel Swimming

By Tony, For Tony

And spreading smiles for all the children at Little Havens Hospice xx

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2SWIM4LIFE - 2015. Tony Marshall.

 2.5.15

Swim a Mile on the Hour Every hour for 24 Hours !!!    YIKES.  Time to get serious.

This has to be one of the hardest swim challenges of all time.  Some say it’s tougher than the channel crossing.  At least with the channel, you can get in and hopefully stop when you get to France.   With 2swim4life, it’s relentless, swim, stop, rest, swim, stop, rest, swim……., in the cold, through the night, for 24 miles, for 24 hours. 

I managed this challenge in 2011 and the full gory story is recited in my blog of April 2011.  Tears flowed through the night as I froze between each mile.  The video of me falling to pieces seems to continue to find its way back from UTube to Facebook bi-annually for a grim reminder.  Throughout today and this evening, I would compare my attitude towards the challenge to Tony’s attitude.  I had the focus and determination but so does Tony, but I was soon going to realise that we both had completely different ideas of how to handle it.

Really, all for one night !

I asked Tony to enter this challenge as I felt it would be a good tester for the mental focus required to swim across the channel, not to mention it is 24 miles, 3 miles further than the channel as the crow flies.   They say crossing the English Channel is 80% mental, 20% fitness.  That if you have the mental attitude to get across, then that’s half the battle.  Well, Tony certainly has this alright! 

His determination to swim the channel has been a true inspiration to me right from the start.  He has never once doubted himself.  Never once asked me whether I think he would make it.  He knows he has what it takes to make it.  The rest is down to Mother Nature.   And that’s what has made this whole experience so enjoyable.  The fact that I know I have a true believer with me and the fact that he pushes himself through the pain barrier every week when we train together.  Like I said, right from the start, I have the comfort of knowing that unless he is ill or the gods are against him, he has the determination and tenacity to nail this thing.

Tony’s other buddy is Matthew Skidmore.  And what a great buddy he is.  I can’t think of a better bloke to help me get Tone through this challenge and he is also part of our boat crew.  Phew, thank god I have some sanity on board, not to mention that both Matthew and I want to swim that last mile into France with him as much as he does.  Failure is not an option unless ‘The Mistress’ has other ideas.   

The most uncomfortable ride ever

So after months of preparation and constant phone calls, emails and lists being prepared of what to take, how we should play this, the day has finally arrived.  A little bit of me was worried that he would forget something despite the amount of lists I had sent across, but I needn’t have.  He comes across sometimes as not giving me the confidence that he has it all in order, but underneath that bubbly, jokey surface, he’s definitely under control.  He never forgot a thing.  How on earth we managed to get everything in Matt’s car, I will never know.  And so we set off on a somewhat very squashed and uncomfortable drive to Guildford. 

 

I have to say that from the moment the three of us got together, I cannot recall laughing as much, ever.  I started to refer to the two of them as Laurel and Hardy as the banter between the two had me in hysterics from the off. 

As much as Matt and myself tried to advise on the best way to handle the challenge and as much as we tried to say “Seriously Tony, we need to talk about the best way to get you through this”, all Tony could do, was talk over us and say, “Look, stop worrying, I’m gonna GET IN, SWIM A MILE, AND GET OUT AGAIN – REPEAT X 24. SIMPLES!   So, that was it, the only way to handle this challenge was Tony’s way.  Fun, laughter, micky taking all the way.  No more professional coaches, just ‘DO IT TONY’S WAY’.  And god did we ‘micky take’.

The fun was there right from the off.  The two of them in the Jacuzzi at The Manor House comparing the size of their woggles and putting the world to rights like a married couple.  Tony chatting up the receptionist who was so not interested and didn’t speak a word of English anyway, to not being able to operate his door key, too many incidents to recall.

Then came the next Act on Britain's Got Talent.  This was none other than Tony playiing the guitar, whilst swimming down a stream, singing and selling books.  The least said about that act, the better!  Four buzzes and he was out straight away!.

Danny Bunn is a great friend of Tony’s, and was also doing the solo challenge.  He is pitched right next to us.  Unlike Tony, he was taking it deadly serious having bailed out in 2011 at the half way mark, and just buddying in 2013, so this year his tactics were well documented.  So without prejudice in anyway whatsoever, Tony took comfort in each time he referred to Danny Bunn’s name, he realised that if you extended the surname, Bunn, to Bunnnnnnnnnnn, then it was almost like he was being hypnotised into being serious too.  So another way of getting through the night when things got tough was to meditate at poor Danny’s expense.  Danny Bunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,  Bunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.  Matthew and Tony would join fingers, Tony would close his eyes, Matthew would go cross-eyed and Laurel and Hardy were at it again, causing me further stitches. And no, I don’t expect anyone that wasn’t there to find that remotely funny, but we did, so there.

Tony takes full credit for this erection!

Back to unloading the car and pitching the tents.  Hello – unload the car and pitch the tents please.  OK, so Matt and myself unloaded the car and pitched the tents.  Tony was busy doing his media thing but then posed in front of the finished article like he actually had something to do with its miraculous erection.  Another hysterical conversation that really has to remain in Guildford I’m afraid.

Junk food for emergencies

Whilst Matthew and I went over the seriousness of the nutrition for the challenge, Tony continued to be Tony and either play his pretend guitar or meditate, Danny Bunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, Bunnnnnnnnnnnnnn.  

Professional Coaches

We were testing, as much as was practical, his channel nutrition, which we still have not finalised just yet.   Herbalife has been his main source of nutrition throughout his gruelling training programme but as all aspiring channellers know, it’s personal, it needs to be tested to the limit and options need to remain open.  Not to mention this 24 hour challenge was entirely different.  He gets rest bite in between miles and therefore, it’s worthwhile nibbling on a few treats that are easy to swallow and require little, if no, chewing, in order to see how his stomach stands up.  So the idea was to get through as much of the challenge as possible on fluids and if he gets bored with the fluids, then we had a mountain of treats for him to snack on between miles.    For me, it was all about 2 things.  How his energy levels faired on Herbalife alone and his stomach.  Even after this challenge, despite the results, there is still work to be done.  Adjusting the electrolytes to compensate for the salt water intake needs serious consideration.  I’d been fortunate that my Herbalife sponsor is in direct communication with Herbalife’s Sr. Director of Sports and Fitness, John Heiss, Ph.D., who is the brains behind the Herbalife Sports 24 range and was happy to relay my constant worries across to the States with numerous twitter messages regarding weight, salt absorption, protein, etc for channel swimmers.   Tony needs to be confident and happy that he has the right product to get him through both these challenges.  Any illness/sickness will immediately have the sceptics questioning his food as people are like that!!  Nuff said. 

We were off.  9.30am, sun is shining and it’s going to be a beautiful successful day.  As each

Tony dropping his trunks without warning.

mile was ticked off, Tony just took his H30 or Prolong and an offering of jelly babies, minstrels or a piece of cake.  He turned his nose up most of the time and seemed happy with just the fluids.  All he really wanted to do was entertain his coaches!  

  

How on earth I managed to get through 24 hours without seeing his bits, I will never know.  In he came, dropped his trunks whilst chatting gibberish without a care in the world.   Wowa, hold on, as I speedily turned round.  I tried my damnest to ‘get serious’ with questions as simple as ‘How are you feeling’ but the simplest of questions just resulted in more meditating, farting or playing the guitar.  It was relentless and under any other circumstances, one would have been forgiven for yelling ‘ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH’, but this was Tony Marshall.  It never became boring because it was so damn funny.

He constantly asked whether his bum looked big in his trunks, he must have asked me a zillion times.

Did you take a picture?

Have you updated Facebook?

What are my work mates saying on Facebook?

Take a picture now!

Danny Bunnnnnnnnnnnnn, Danny Bunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Strum strum strum fart!

And all I kept shouting was - TONY, WHERE'S YA GOGGLES, YOU HAVE 3 MINUTES TO GET YOUR ASS TO THE POOL, DRINK THIS NOW.  
    

Danny Bunnnnnnnnnnnnnn………… 

GOD, GIVE ME STRENGTH.

And so it went on.  He knocked out his miles at 30minutes pace for all and the only 33’s, 34’s were where he was chatting up the ladies in the lane or fiddling with his damn goggles.  Thank god he’s swimming the channel solo and thank god he won’t have anyone to talk to. 

Get a photo of my bum going over!!  Yes Tony.

And don’t forget to put it on Facebook, Yes Tony

Tony, please put your socks on and take your feet away from the heater, you will get chilblains. 

Please can you warn me when you will be dropping your trunks next time? 

Please can you exit the pool and get back here a bit quicker, and stop chatting to everyone in sight.

Please can you drink up and get to the water a bit quicker next time.

I started to wonder whether this actually was the right way to go about this challenge.  Exchange the pain, boredom and tedious relentless swimming with fun and laughter and it will be over in a flash.  Well, it was certainly working for him.  OK, yes he had a couple of moments where he said, “Well this is getting serious now isn’t it?  I’m starting to realise how hard this challenge is.  But then, low and behold, a fart or a sudden urge to meditate soon took over and Matthew and I just exchanged glances, rolled our eyes and dragged him out of the tent again as this was obviously going to be the pattern from hereon.  

Danny & Tony - both just kept smiling

This was it for the night.  We were going to be laughing all night long.  Each time he walked past Danny, Danny asked what’s your tactics for this mile then Tone?   And Tony would say something on the line of, well, this time, instead of getting in, swimming a mile and getting out, I’m going to get in, swim the mile and then get out.  ???????????????

Even Danny had time to squeeze into his fancy dress costume at the half way mark.   Danny was a great inspiration to Tony, his lane and team mates.  Forever encouraging, cheering and clapping and I never once saw him without a smile on his face.  This really was the way to nail this thing.  Enjoy it and you can’t fail.  The only failure is failing to try.   And I have to say that in the end, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.  We had a ball and we can’t wait for the channel experience.  Matt and I make a great team and we will do our damnest to try to help Mr Marshall become the first Redcap to swim the Channel Solo. 

This man is a legend to which I thank you for a truly unforgettable experience.  Well done Tony.   You may have the rest of this week off, and get back to mine, 11am Monday please!    Video link below under the picture.  

2swim4life - Tony Marshall - 2015