UNSTOPPABLE: TONY MARSHALL’S QUEST TO CONQUER THE ENGLISH CHANNEL
Tony Marshall. What could I possibly tell you about Tony Marshall? Those who know him might refer to him as a joke cracking, truck driving, mirror gazing, ice-cream eating, hair sculpting, smooth talking softie. At precisely 03:58 BST on 16th July 2015 Tony Marshall staggered and stumbled through knee-deep waters, marched onto a deserted beach outside Calais then turned around and held his hands high as he staked his claim on French soil. Tony Marshall? Who is he? Why he’s that larger than life joker who SWAM THE ENGLISH CHANNEL!!
Me and Tony go back five or so years. A member of the Chalkwell Redcaps, we’ve swum, laughed and cried plenty together. Tony was the one who pulled me through my 11 degrees two-hour CSPF qualifying swim for Team DUKES Channel Relay back in 2013. More to the point he was the other half of the double act that was the ‘2Tones’, being very close to my sorely missed wingman, Tony Mellett. Their relationship was not dissimilar to that shared between Roald Dahl’s Mr. & Mrs. Twit. So many fond memories of prank-pulling and one-upmanship. Giving wrong directions, filling swim bags with stones, stealing clothes or tying up their arms and legs, making apple pie beds. The list goes on. A pair of absolute clowns…. Channel Fever struck us all in 2013 and our Dover Roadtrips began as we prepared for respective relay swims. We howled and scoffed our way through various camping and caravan trips and tried to do a bit of swimming along the way. Take ourselves seriously? Not capable I’m afraid.
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Shortly afterwards Tony Marshall fessed up that he’d booked an English Channel solo for the summer of 2015. He had been badly affected by the death of his closest friend and wanted to swim in Tone’s memory raising money for Little Havens Children’s Hospice, Tony Mellett’s chosen charity for the ill-fated Sharks 2013 Channel relay attempt. He wanted to give something back and to make a difference to the lives of terminally ill children and their grieving families. I did not doubt his capabilities but, while understanding and applauding his intentions, my instant reaction was that he simply hadn’t given himself enough time to prepare. He didn’t have any significant distance swimming to his name and, with the cold water season just around the corner, there would be limited opportunities to crack out decent long-uns in the sea until May/June time. Why 2015 Tony? Good on you, do it. Yes great. But give yourself a chance man!!
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| She might very well look all smiles. But as soon as that swim cap goes on she morphs into a proper BIATCH. Believe you me |
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| 7 hours oh yeah!!!! 7 hours with Tony Marshall is an endurance sport in a category of its very own |
As the 2015 training season opened up Tony took weekly trips down to Dover to train with Freeda Streeter and the Channel Swimming Crew. With my own (stupidly) long distance swimming plans for the year looming, I travelled there too and we spent the best part of six weekends training together. We upped our time spent in the water from four to five to six and to seven hours. By the end we were swimming back to back Saturday and Sunday cracking out 13 hours over the weekend. And when we weren’t swimming we were laughing, camping and eating. It was during these activities that we had our heart to hearts. Tony wanted this swim so badly. In spite of him saying ‘If I don’t make it, I don’t make it, but at least I will have tried’, his desire for success was written all over his face. Pep talks ensued aplenty. Just as much to quash my own anxieties as to boost his confidence. The conversation that we came back to time and time again was that time should be irrelevant. ‘Don’t think for one minute that this swim is going to be over quickly’. ‘Swim between feeds’. ‘Kill the time’. ‘Head down and keep going’. ‘Prepare yourself for 21 hours in the water’. Blah de blah de blah!!!!! Another favourite technique was visualisation. ‘Have you seen the end Tone? Have you pictured yourself rocking up on the beach in France?’. ‘Yeah, a million times’, ‘What does it look like?’, ‘Well I’m punching the air and kissing the sand’. ‘Cool, hold that image. You might need it’. Again, just as much to encourage him as to give myself a good talking to. By the time Tony’s swim window opened he was rattling off all the right words without any prompting. He knew exactly what he had to do and exactly how to do it. Unstoppable.
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| Tony’s ‘Unstoppable’ bracelet. Can’t stop eating McDonalds either…. |
Tony’s support crew on the day would be head coach Lorraine Rate, secret lover Matthew Skidmore, Southend Shark and Urchin John Willis and myself (not sure what title to give myself here so let’s just settle with the usual: Bitch). His tide window opened on 15th July and we needed to be prepared to bolt down to Dover at the drop of a hat to board the pilot vessel Sea Satin, Captained by Lance Oram. We watched the weather reports obsessively, second-guessed as to when we’d be off and slowly but surely came around to the idea that we might, just might get out on day one of Tony’s window. Yeah Wednesday 15th into Thursday 16th, that’s when we would kick off. Set off in the dark, swim into the light…..
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| Meet the team |
Myself and John travelled to Lake Bala in North Wales on Friday 10th for the annual BLDSA Championships. Arriving home very late on Sunday evening, soaking wet and knackered after a seven hour drive, we thought we’d get a bit of a breather before heading for the Continent. But on Tuesday afternoon, with our cars not yet unpacked and kayaks still strapped to the roofs, things started rumbling. An e-mail pinged into our inboxes ‘07:00 Wednesday morning. Be prepared to meet at the Marina. Call back at 19:30hrs for confirmation’. And there it was. Just like that. Status Amber gave way to a green light. Shit. Totally unprepared. Scrabble around getting bags together, ring out for a pizza (no time for supermarket shopping), alarm clocks set for 03:30 and hit the road.
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| Found anything down there John? |
When we arrived in the Marina the wind was howling. White horses were visible out in the Channel and I seriously thought that the plug would (and should) be pulled. But no. We locked and loaded, submitted our passport details then chugged out around the harbour wall and approached Shakespeare Beach. Lorraine got out the sunblock and Vaseline and began smothering it in every crack and orifice. Well not quite. She wasn’t prepared to go ‘below deck’ and rather matter-of-fact questioned ‘Who wants to do Tony from behind?’. That unfortunate job fell to John. Well I was filming so it couldn’t possibly have been my duty. Besides I’m a married woman and that would be just wrong!! And as if doing him from behind wasn’t bad enough, there was the FRONT to do too. While I leave that to your imagination I’ll work on erasing the images and trauma that said groin greasing have left me with…..
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| Tony on Shakespeare Beach. Next stop France!! |
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| Lovely day for a gentle swim…. |
Under CSPF rules Tony wasn’t allowed a support swimmer in until he’d been going for three hours. He started asking for me, ‘Jane, when you getting in?’, ‘Come on, swim with me’. Oh Christ, OK, I’ll get changed. One layer off. Hurl. Two off. Barf. Cozzy on. Puke puke puke. GET ME OFF THIS SODDING BOAT!! I dived in and the water was surprisingly (shockingly) cold. Gasping for air as the cold reflex hit I swam to catch him up. I remember Lorraine telling me about being a support swimmer for a crossing a few years earlier. How it was actually quite stressful as you are not allowed to touch the swimmer or overtake them. Well there I was, green about the gills but with fresh shoulders and having to keep the brakes on. There was no way I wanted to jeopardise Tony’s crossing so I made sure not to commit any terminal offences as I swam alongside him for a full hour.
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| One sick puppy…… |
Sea Sick was being tossed about in the waves and there was no stable point to fix my gaze on. A most disorienting experience. I had hoped that being in the water would go some way towards quelling my queasiness but it didn’t and I heaved several times in the water, glad to get out when my hour was up. Climbing back aboard there came the conundrum. What to do first? Throw up? Or get dressed? Throwing up seemed the sensible option. So off to feed the fish once more before retiring to the upper deck to get dressed. With the boat rocking and my stomach churning this was no mean feat. I managed to get my swim suit off before lying back in my dry robe. OK I’ll just stay here for a bit with my eyes closed…… In a semi-coma I could hear myself shouting ‘come on, get dressed, don’t let yourself get cold’, but body and mind were well and truly out of synch. The travel pills I’d taken were making me drowsy. They’d have done better to stop me puking. I lay flat on my back fighting my head for a full 15 minutes before finally summonsing the energy to get dry and dressed then promptly conked out. Lorraine, Matthew and John. Over to you. This ‘support crew’ member is totally useless….
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| Feeding time at the zoo. He got peaches, we got pizza |
I simply must commend the rest of the Team for the attention that they paid to our swimmer. Feeds were prepared and administered every half hour. Words of encouragement were shouted. Banter was exchanged. I joined in on the occasions that I wasn’t barfing or unconscious but it was they who kept the whole operation running to schedule. The pilots were second to none too, with Lance Oram, Sean ‘Foxy’ and Dan Hawkes encouraging and abusing Tony every step of the way. The observer was Jeff Cox, an amenable chap himself married to a long distance swimmer. He was full of useful information about so many aspects of Channel swimming. Ask a question and he would answer. He showed me the rule-of-thumb ‘formula’ for working out the expected crossing time, apparently all sussed by the time the swimmer hits the South-West shipping lane just five miles into the swim! In the end it turned out to be very accurate indeed. Amazing stuff and borne out of years and years of experience of escorting nutters like Tone across La Manche. From that info the pilots could start thinking about where their swimmer might emerge from the water. They had all sorts of maps and mathematical-looking gadgets below deck but I quickly realised that these were highly flexible guys who, above all else, wanted to keep spirits light and not have their swimmer focus on anything else but the next feed. Whenever Tony asked ‘how much further’ they would point towards France and say ‘about that far’. No more info and actually the best way to deal with the question! It was like being on a pirate ship with all the raucous laughter emanating from their cabin. All day and all night long they kept it up. I wouldn’t have been at all surprised if they didn’t have a parrot down there with them or break out into a medley of sea shanties….. The humour aboard rubbed off on Tony too. Thinking of his chosen charity, he regularly enquired as to how the children were getting along at Little Havens. And coming up for air he would shout an assortment of words and demands in our direction. ‘Love You!!’, ‘Peaches’, ‘Painkillers’, and ‘Cup of tea’ were regular features. At one point his arse went off and he looked up at us to check if we’d noticed. We did Tone. You stinker. He asked for jaffa cakes, even though he knew we didn’t have any and even asked Lance for a drag on his fag. Yeah mate, that’d help……
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| Sea Sick and Smiley Flag from the water |
Matthew had a wonderful support swim with Tony, taking in his camera and capturing footage from a perspective that I’ve never before seen on a Channel crossing. Tony sported a pair of Smiley trunks and a matching cap courtesy of Gary Standen of Torquay based ‘Happy Wild Swimming Caps’. Gary had knocked up a Smiley flag too and this flapped in the breeze over the side of the boat. Happy and wild, yeah that’s what this swim was all about. John went in for the next support swim and there was a near miss with DFDS Seaways (on a rare day that they weren’t striking). Ferry and tanker dodging, just how Channel swimming is supposed to be!
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| Take my hand and we’ll make it I swear |
Darkness fell so on with the green flashy LED lights. Tony had one pinned to his butt cheeks but had to have one on his goggles too. The sensible thing to do at this point would have been to change to clear goggles but he wanted to stick with his tinted prescription ones. Hmmmm? What is there to see but the floodlit boat? But OK and on he went. He also had his watch on and had been checking it regularly since setting off all those hours ago. Double Hmmmmm?? It was my turn to jump back in and swim next to him so ditto with the LEDs. With my clear goggles on I could see fuck all in neither blackness nor glare. Tony was obsessed about swimming in the spot light outside the pilots cabin and it didn’t take a genius to work out why….. After an uneventful hour I got out and spoke my mind about the goggle situation. The pilots called him in for a bollocking. The air turned blue with sailor cursing. Sometimes a good string of expletives is the only way of getting a point across. Firm but fair, Tony was ordered to switch to clear goggs and at the end of the conversation Foxy shouted at him ‘Oh and stop all this asking about where you are. You’re in the middle of the fucking English Channel. You’re exactly where we need you to be right now. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Listen to our instructions, obey and you’ll make it. Follow the boat. We know where we are going. And GIVE ME THAT FUCKING WATCH’. Tony dutifully followed orders and it didn’t take him long to settle into his night swim. Confident to swim away from the light now he calmed down massively. Just in time for the mist to set in…… Fog horns filled the midnight air. One could describe it as eerie but magical would be an equally fitting description. I got semi-dry again and dozed off into another seasick/shivvery/drug induced coma……
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| Land ahoy!!!!!!! |
As they did myself, Lorraine and Matthew changed into our swim gear to see him home. John unfortunately had to stay on the boat. Somebody had to be there to help Tony get changed ASAP into warm and dry clothes. After such an extended time in the water his core temperature would surely have taken a beating and, having stormed the beach with Tony in 2014 as part of the Urchins relay team, John so very kindly agreed to do that honour. I was, and remain, thankful to him for making that decision. I had a score to settle with the Channel having been ‘off shift’ when my relay team touched down in 2013 and with a pilot who refused to let us stake our claim on France as a team. The rib was deployed and in we got, sprinting to catch Tony up as he approached the silo just the other side of the ferry port at Calais. When he promised me a trip to France I had no idea it would be so romantic……
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| Seconds away from the French Invasion…… |
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| A few brief moments in the sand but in our hearts forever. For Tony xx |
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| Our mate looked out for you every step of the way Tone. I have absolutely no doubt about that xx |
While we had done our bit to support him and gee him along his merry way, it had been Tony Mellett who had kept him going through the darker moments. That’s what the Smiley Faces were all about. His own slant on the Mellett Memorial Smiley and all the adventures it has had since Tony’s death. For Tony? Yeah, of course FOR TONY. Our writing didn’t stay for long in the wet sand. But long enough to honour a great man and for us to reflect. With tears in our eyes we swam back to the boat and slept all the way home…..
To date Tony’s efforts have raised nearly £2,000 for Little Havens. Please do visit his fundraising page at https://www.justgiving.com/Tonys-channel-swim. If not to donate then just to read his ‘Why’ story. It certainly moves me every time I read it. What an amazing place the hospice is and what great work it does for youngsters and their families facing such awfully sad times.
Tony Marshall. What can I say? Blinding swim mate. Bloody brilliant. First Redcap to swim the Channel. Such a great statement. Such a great cause. Thanks for having me along for the ride. For the laughter along the way, for the heart to hearts and for memories that will last a lifetime. So many more swims to be conquered. Take a bit of time now then start plotting. You truly are unstoppable. This is just the beginning :)
Here’s chief whip Lorraine’s epic movie take on the swim. If you can down tools for 40 minutes then go ahead and watch. If you’re too busy for that then please have a think about the reasons why people do crazy horse-shit stuff. On the inside of every story of endurance there’s always a deeper quest. This was a story of massive loss and of one man’s struggle to keep his friend’s dreams alive by making a change and helping people in need.
God Bless You All. Channel Swimming
By Tony, For Tony
And spreading smiles for all the children at Little Havens Hospice xx
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