The Great London Swim - 31st August 2013

Well what an emotional day this was.  Life's been a bit strange over the past 8 months.  In a nut shell, we had a major kitchen overhaul which went drastically wrong and left us without a kitchen for 3 months, I had a cancer scare right bang in the middle of it and stress factor was flying all over the place, I had two biopsy's which thankfully I received the all clear, I was made redundant from my PA role of 13 years and had no work for 10 weeks and what with a severe lack of training due to stress levels reaching sky high, my head was in a really weird place for a while. So apart from the Southend Pier Swim, I've done jack all.

I've plodded along the seashore and the odd canal a few times but as for racing, no speed there whatsoever, so I decided to write this year off as far as targets go and enjoy a well needed rest.

Well in the midst of all this, my dearest, loveliest, friend Lizzie Wells,

who has often referred to me as a complete nutter that needs sectioning, decided she wanted to do something for charity.  Having lost her mum to cancer about 4 years ago and having had a little scare herself, what with my scare too, a cancer charity was the obvious choice.  What was not obvious was what the challenge would be.  You see Lizzie's only form of exercise in the past is weight lifting.  Many, many, many repetitions of lifting a glass of wine to ones mouth to tone up the arms.  And unfortunately she also suffers from a horrendous allergy know as exercise-a-phobia.  Exercise to you and me.  The thought of doing any exercise at all, or even so much as catching a passing glimpse of sport on the television, causes her to twitch uncontrollably and break out in a sweat.

It was during one of these severe outbreaks (and in the middle of a heavy 'Wine Weight Training set'), that having overdosed on the alcohol intake, she found herself mutter some words which she would come to regret later.  "Well, I could join you Bettsy and do an open water swim".  To which I have to add at this point, that I came out in a hot sweat and had to join her in her wine weight training session, as I was knocked for six!

Now the other thing Lizzie won't mind me telling you is that a year ago from the time of writing this article, she weighed an incredible 5.5 stone heavier than she does today.  Did I think she would stick it - No.  Did I think she would get in a cozzie at the start of all this dieting (cough cough) - No.  Did I ever think I would get her in a cold, horrible lake in a wetsuit - Hell No.

The first time I threw her in the River Chelmer she had a severe panic attack.  She couldn't breath, she was petrified and shaking with fear.  We doggy paddled up the river with our other close friend Ulieja (Julie) who was keeping a close eye along the bankside accompanied by Vinny the dog.  (Pain).   Totally convinced I was going to have to perform a resuscitation move on Lizzie at some point during the swim, I was definitely not prepared for having to rescue a bloomin DOG!   Yes, Vinny fell in.  And with mum, Ulieja, throwing a tantrum on the side, Lizzie gasping for breath, I leaped into my baywatch mode and rescued the bloomin DOG!  Then shot back to calm Lizzie down.  God, how the hell did I get involved in this one!

So, here we are now.  A whole year on and she's able to swim a mile a day in a pool but has not returned to the cold outdoors for over 8 long winter months.

A place called TRIFARM had just opened which is fairly close to where we live and is basically a lake where triathletes can train at the whole discipline in one area under the supervision of lifeguards.  An excellent venue.  So once again, as soon as we had some decent weather we had to go through the whole procedure of panic attacks and "Don't speak to me" whilst we doggy paddled around the circuit.  (At least this time it was without Vinny the Dog!)

Then a really weird thing happened.  I used to
jump in the lake at TRIFARM on my way home from work and with the fantastic summer we were having in 2013, I certainly made the most of it.  Then one night I turned up at the lake and to my surprise, there was Lizzie, in it, on her own !!!!!   What is the world coming to?  I could hardly believe my eyes that she had gone to the farm by herself to practise.  The same thing happened the following week, but this was even more surprising.  As Chris and I did our usual 2/3 laps, we spotted Lizzie - AND HER HUSBAND.  Jeez, this is crazy.  But then, the thing that completely knocked me for six was that Lizzie, of all people, turned up at TRIFARM in protest to 'KEEP OUR FARM OPEN' !!!!   Do-good jobs worths, with nothing better to do than try to close our farm down meant that we had to fight to remain there and Lizzie was on the front line!

So, here we are.  The day has arrived.  And whats more, Lizzie has raised nearly £2,000 in her quest to lose 5.5 stone and be able to complete THE GREAT LONDON SWIM.  She dragged all her friends and workmates down to cheer her on and was ready for her big day.


I was going to race it at 10a.m. and then jump back in again at 11.30a.m. to swim Lizzies mile with her.  Well un-beknown to me, whilst I'm racing my heat, my mum, bless her, has chatted up the man with the microphone, told him all about her me and that I'm swimming it twice today and all about my amazing friend that's going to attempt this mile.  So when I completed my mile, there he was waiting to interview me.  Amongst the crowds, Lizzie hadn't managed to find me or didn't see my epic swim (I say epic because amazingly I broke the 24min barrier for the first time ever) which was unfortunately but she did hear a familiar voice over the speaker system telling the world all about her.  She came rushing over with tears in her eyes and then promptly told me I got the charity name wrong!   Ooops. Must pay attention.

When our heat was announced, we stayed right at the back and waited for all the other swimmers to go in.  Chris was racing it so off he went and then, an extremely scared Lizzie, dawdled into the scary water amongst cheers of 'come on Lizzie, you can do it'.   AND SHE DID.  The last 20 metres or so, she welled up because she knew her mum would have been so proud of her. We spoke about her mum as we swum round the course and she said "if she could see me now, she would never believe what I have done".    A true inspiration Lizzie, I'm so proud of you.  And then as we climbed out the other end, there was our young man again ready to interview this amazing lady who was able to tell the world her story.  Fame at last.

And which proves, if you look for reasons and excuses why not to do something, then the chances are, you never really wanted to do it in the first place.

Lizzie wanted to do this for her mum, she wanted to make a difference, and so she did.

The Julie's fault, bettsy, ratty, doggy poo bin swim - 11 August 2013

Following the huge success of my Queen's Jubilee charity swim last year, Julie asked me if I was going to do another one this year.

Whilst I was delighted with last years turn out and the success of it, the stress levels of organising a river swim for 30 people with kayaks, safety crew, not to mention clearing it with the authorities all by myself proved somewhat more stressful that I had originally imagined.  Not because I couldn't organise it, but because if anyone had decided to die on that day, I'm not sure I could have ever coped with the trauma.  I certainly don't think I would every have been able to swim again.

So when Julie asked me, my initial thought was definitely no, never again.  I slept on it for a few days and then thought, what if I scale it down, just invite say about 12 swimmers and combine it with a BBQ party round our house afterwards.  We were having such a beautiful summer, that it was a shame to waste it.  It's what us swimmers would consider a perfect day.  Long swim in a river, BBQ, wine, music and great company.  

So that was it, the inaugural Julies fault, Bettsy, Ratty Doggy Poo Bin swim was about to take place.

It's called the Julie's fault.......... purely because, we swim as far as the poo bin then come back again - simple.

The sun was shining, the food was fabulous and the company was even better.

The first of many I hope.

Southend Great Pier Swim - July 21 2013

Ben Jacques, Helen Wildin and me.

For the third year running, I have entered the Great Pier Swim at Southend.  Chalkwell Redcaps train at the Crowstone in Chalkwell and this year we had a new route for the Great Swim.

Instead of starting at the Sealife Centre and swimming towards Thorpe Bay, we will be starting at the Crowstone in Chalkwell and swimming towards Southend and straight under the longest pier in the world to the finishing line.

I have swum this route along with my fellow Redcaps, many times before.  The Redcap challenge back in 2012 comes immediately to mind when we covered the distance 6 times over on one tide.

As usual,I dragged mum out at this ungodly hour to come and watch and Mark, living and working at The Borough Hotel was also able to pop along and greet me at the finish post.

Being encouraged in ready for the race

A particularly windy day, (but not anywhere near as bad as last year), we gathered patiently awaiting the usual safety briefing.

Myself, Jane and Helen decided to pop in for a quick warm up to acclimatise first, which was a blessing, as the water was still a tad chilly so taking the opportunity to lower the body temperature lessens the shock when the time comes.

We also had the floating start this year whereas in previous years, we have run in from the beach.  I assume this was partly because the beach is somewhat stony at Chalkwell and very painful to run in.  As usual the racers are not allowed to wear a wetsuit and they go off first, followed by several waves of wet-suited challengers.

Jane Bell, Me, Helen Wildin, having a warm up

I have had a particularly bad time since the end of the open water season last year.  Not to mention being made jobless, not being well and hence suffering from a severe lack of training  I was really testing my fitness levels in this one.  3k is not a great distance when you are fit, but with the lack of training, I was in no way prepared for what lay ahead.

2012 had seen me competing or challenging most weekends but this year I have only entered 3 swims and this was the first.

The water was particularly choppy and my lack of fitness sure took it's toll.  It's not like me to 'wish it was over' and struggle for breath but those final metres swimming under the pier were exhausting.  I could hear the echo of my own wheezing over and over as I struggled to get some air.

They changed the award system this year too which I was pretty pissed off about.  Not because I am in any great need for another medal but purely out of principle.  If you want to swim a challenge, then that is what you are doing.  You enter challenges to challenge yourself to complete something.  If you want to race, then you are swimming to become an outright winner.  That's why we enter races, in the hope that we will prove to be the fastest and subsequently suitably rewarded for our efforts.  But this year, by popular demand, they chipped the challengers too.  Nothing wrong with that, as even challengers like to know how long they took to complete their challenge.  But to give the rewards to the challengers and not the racers, where's the logic in that?  So hence, my category, the veterans was won by a much slower swimmer than myself !! Crazy. So, I guess in hind site, had I read the rules properly, I could have kept warm in a wetsuit, taken my time, had a nice leisurely swim and walked away with first prize.  How crazy is that.  I spoke to several people who were extremely upset by this decision.  I think the organisers will be in extreme danger next year of all the racers entering the challenge category, because us real competitive people, love a trophy, don't we. Slightly contradicting my earlier statement, but true.    In particular, I spoke to an elderly gentleman who had trained really hard and was keen to win his age category, but like me, he didn't read the rules properly and his trophy went to a chap that was several minutes slower than him.  Daft if you ask me.

It's not cold honestly, we'll be fine once we've stripped off !