The Great London Swim - 31st August 2013

Well what an emotional day this was.  Life's been a bit strange over the past 8 months.  In a nut shell, we had a major kitchen overhaul which went drastically wrong and left us without a kitchen for 3 months, I had a cancer scare right bang in the middle of it and stress factor was flying all over the place, I had two biopsy's which thankfully I received the all clear, I was made redundant from my PA role of 13 years and had no work for 10 weeks and what with a severe lack of training due to stress levels reaching sky high, my head was in a really weird place for a while. So apart from the Southend Pier Swim, I've done jack all.

I've plodded along the seashore and the odd canal a few times but as for racing, no speed there whatsoever, so I decided to write this year off as far as targets go and enjoy a well needed rest.

Well in the midst of all this, my dearest, loveliest, friend Lizzie Wells,

who has often referred to me as a complete nutter that needs sectioning, decided she wanted to do something for charity.  Having lost her mum to cancer about 4 years ago and having had a little scare herself, what with my scare too, a cancer charity was the obvious choice.  What was not obvious was what the challenge would be.  You see Lizzie's only form of exercise in the past is weight lifting.  Many, many, many repetitions of lifting a glass of wine to ones mouth to tone up the arms.  And unfortunately she also suffers from a horrendous allergy know as exercise-a-phobia.  Exercise to you and me.  The thought of doing any exercise at all, or even so much as catching a passing glimpse of sport on the television, causes her to twitch uncontrollably and break out in a sweat.

It was during one of these severe outbreaks (and in the middle of a heavy 'Wine Weight Training set'), that having overdosed on the alcohol intake, she found herself mutter some words which she would come to regret later.  "Well, I could join you Bettsy and do an open water swim".  To which I have to add at this point, that I came out in a hot sweat and had to join her in her wine weight training session, as I was knocked for six!

Now the other thing Lizzie won't mind me telling you is that a year ago from the time of writing this article, she weighed an incredible 5.5 stone heavier than she does today.  Did I think she would stick it - No.  Did I think she would get in a cozzie at the start of all this dieting (cough cough) - No.  Did I ever think I would get her in a cold, horrible lake in a wetsuit - Hell No.

The first time I threw her in the River Chelmer she had a severe panic attack.  She couldn't breath, she was petrified and shaking with fear.  We doggy paddled up the river with our other close friend Ulieja (Julie) who was keeping a close eye along the bankside accompanied by Vinny the dog.  (Pain).   Totally convinced I was going to have to perform a resuscitation move on Lizzie at some point during the swim, I was definitely not prepared for having to rescue a bloomin DOG!   Yes, Vinny fell in.  And with mum, Ulieja, throwing a tantrum on the side, Lizzie gasping for breath, I leaped into my baywatch mode and rescued the bloomin DOG!  Then shot back to calm Lizzie down.  God, how the hell did I get involved in this one!

So, here we are now.  A whole year on and she's able to swim a mile a day in a pool but has not returned to the cold outdoors for over 8 long winter months.

A place called TRIFARM had just opened which is fairly close to where we live and is basically a lake where triathletes can train at the whole discipline in one area under the supervision of lifeguards.  An excellent venue.  So once again, as soon as we had some decent weather we had to go through the whole procedure of panic attacks and "Don't speak to me" whilst we doggy paddled around the circuit.  (At least this time it was without Vinny the Dog!)

Then a really weird thing happened.  I used to
jump in the lake at TRIFARM on my way home from work and with the fantastic summer we were having in 2013, I certainly made the most of it.  Then one night I turned up at the lake and to my surprise, there was Lizzie, in it, on her own !!!!!   What is the world coming to?  I could hardly believe my eyes that she had gone to the farm by herself to practise.  The same thing happened the following week, but this was even more surprising.  As Chris and I did our usual 2/3 laps, we spotted Lizzie - AND HER HUSBAND.  Jeez, this is crazy.  But then, the thing that completely knocked me for six was that Lizzie, of all people, turned up at TRIFARM in protest to 'KEEP OUR FARM OPEN' !!!!   Do-good jobs worths, with nothing better to do than try to close our farm down meant that we had to fight to remain there and Lizzie was on the front line!

So, here we are.  The day has arrived.  And whats more, Lizzie has raised nearly £2,000 in her quest to lose 5.5 stone and be able to complete THE GREAT LONDON SWIM.  She dragged all her friends and workmates down to cheer her on and was ready for her big day.


I was going to race it at 10a.m. and then jump back in again at 11.30a.m. to swim Lizzies mile with her.  Well un-beknown to me, whilst I'm racing my heat, my mum, bless her, has chatted up the man with the microphone, told him all about her me and that I'm swimming it twice today and all about my amazing friend that's going to attempt this mile.  So when I completed my mile, there he was waiting to interview me.  Amongst the crowds, Lizzie hadn't managed to find me or didn't see my epic swim (I say epic because amazingly I broke the 24min barrier for the first time ever) which was unfortunately but she did hear a familiar voice over the speaker system telling the world all about her.  She came rushing over with tears in her eyes and then promptly told me I got the charity name wrong!   Ooops. Must pay attention.

When our heat was announced, we stayed right at the back and waited for all the other swimmers to go in.  Chris was racing it so off he went and then, an extremely scared Lizzie, dawdled into the scary water amongst cheers of 'come on Lizzie, you can do it'.   AND SHE DID.  The last 20 metres or so, she welled up because she knew her mum would have been so proud of her. We spoke about her mum as we swum round the course and she said "if she could see me now, she would never believe what I have done".    A true inspiration Lizzie, I'm so proud of you.  And then as we climbed out the other end, there was our young man again ready to interview this amazing lady who was able to tell the world her story.  Fame at last.

And which proves, if you look for reasons and excuses why not to do something, then the chances are, you never really wanted to do it in the first place.

Lizzie wanted to do this for her mum, she wanted to make a difference, and so she did.

The Julie's fault, bettsy, ratty, doggy poo bin swim - 11 August 2013

Following the huge success of my Queen's Jubilee charity swim last year, Julie asked me if I was going to do another one this year.

Whilst I was delighted with last years turn out and the success of it, the stress levels of organising a river swim for 30 people with kayaks, safety crew, not to mention clearing it with the authorities all by myself proved somewhat more stressful that I had originally imagined.  Not because I couldn't organise it, but because if anyone had decided to die on that day, I'm not sure I could have ever coped with the trauma.  I certainly don't think I would every have been able to swim again.

So when Julie asked me, my initial thought was definitely no, never again.  I slept on it for a few days and then thought, what if I scale it down, just invite say about 12 swimmers and combine it with a BBQ party round our house afterwards.  We were having such a beautiful summer, that it was a shame to waste it.  It's what us swimmers would consider a perfect day.  Long swim in a river, BBQ, wine, music and great company.  

So that was it, the inaugural Julies fault, Bettsy, Ratty Doggy Poo Bin swim was about to take place.

It's called the Julie's fault.......... purely because, we swim as far as the poo bin then come back again - simple.

The sun was shining, the food was fabulous and the company was even better.

The first of many I hope.

Southend Great Pier Swim - July 21 2013

Ben Jacques, Helen Wildin and me.

For the third year running, I have entered the Great Pier Swim at Southend.  Chalkwell Redcaps train at the Crowstone in Chalkwell and this year we had a new route for the Great Swim.

Instead of starting at the Sealife Centre and swimming towards Thorpe Bay, we will be starting at the Crowstone in Chalkwell and swimming towards Southend and straight under the longest pier in the world to the finishing line.

I have swum this route along with my fellow Redcaps, many times before.  The Redcap challenge back in 2012 comes immediately to mind when we covered the distance 6 times over on one tide.

As usual,I dragged mum out at this ungodly hour to come and watch and Mark, living and working at The Borough Hotel was also able to pop along and greet me at the finish post.

Being encouraged in ready for the race

A particularly windy day, (but not anywhere near as bad as last year), we gathered patiently awaiting the usual safety briefing.

Myself, Jane and Helen decided to pop in for a quick warm up to acclimatise first, which was a blessing, as the water was still a tad chilly so taking the opportunity to lower the body temperature lessens the shock when the time comes.

We also had the floating start this year whereas in previous years, we have run in from the beach.  I assume this was partly because the beach is somewhat stony at Chalkwell and very painful to run in.  As usual the racers are not allowed to wear a wetsuit and they go off first, followed by several waves of wet-suited challengers.

Jane Bell, Me, Helen Wildin, having a warm up

I have had a particularly bad time since the end of the open water season last year.  Not to mention being made jobless, not being well and hence suffering from a severe lack of training  I was really testing my fitness levels in this one.  3k is not a great distance when you are fit, but with the lack of training, I was in no way prepared for what lay ahead.

2012 had seen me competing or challenging most weekends but this year I have only entered 3 swims and this was the first.

The water was particularly choppy and my lack of fitness sure took it's toll.  It's not like me to 'wish it was over' and struggle for breath but those final metres swimming under the pier were exhausting.  I could hear the echo of my own wheezing over and over as I struggled to get some air.

They changed the award system this year too which I was pretty pissed off about.  Not because I am in any great need for another medal but purely out of principle.  If you want to swim a challenge, then that is what you are doing.  You enter challenges to challenge yourself to complete something.  If you want to race, then you are swimming to become an outright winner.  That's why we enter races, in the hope that we will prove to be the fastest and subsequently suitably rewarded for our efforts.  But this year, by popular demand, they chipped the challengers too.  Nothing wrong with that, as even challengers like to know how long they took to complete their challenge.  But to give the rewards to the challengers and not the racers, where's the logic in that?  So hence, my category, the veterans was won by a much slower swimmer than myself !! Crazy. So, I guess in hind site, had I read the rules properly, I could have kept warm in a wetsuit, taken my time, had a nice leisurely swim and walked away with first prize.  How crazy is that.  I spoke to several people who were extremely upset by this decision.  I think the organisers will be in extreme danger next year of all the racers entering the challenge category, because us real competitive people, love a trophy, don't we. Slightly contradicting my earlier statement, but true.    In particular, I spoke to an elderly gentleman who had trained really hard and was keen to win his age category, but like me, he didn't read the rules properly and his trophy went to a chap that was several minutes slower than him.  Daft if you ask me.

It's not cold honestly, we'll be fine once we've stripped off !

Club La Santa - Lanzarote - September 2012

My holidays so far have always been relaxing, get away from the stress of the daily routine and just read books, sun-bathe, drink wine and eat fine food.

So this one, which had been a dream wish of mine for a few years, could not have been further away from that.

Here's my swim mates for the week and what a great fun bunch they were.

The Open Water Training Camp at Club La Santa, Lanzarote is run by Swim 4 Tri's, Dan Bullock, twice a year.  It's an intense 7 hours a day, mixed with pool, land exercises, open water and classroom.

Coach, Dan Bullock is third in from the left in the photo above. Having won Coach of the Year award several times, he was worth his weight in gold.  His teaching methods are easy to understand, very well explained and he makes it interesting and enjoyable.

I can never remember a holiday before where I was setting the alarm at 6.15a.m. ready for a 7.00a.m. training session to start.  Pitch black outside and a flood-lit pool awaiting me, I dragged myself out of our cozy holiday bed.

How strange that you come out of your apartment at such an early hour and witness dozens of athletes stretching and limbering up in the corridors ready to get as much training done as possible before that scorching hot sun rises.  If only I could do this every day.


Above. My new best friend for the week was my central snorkle!     Oh, how I battled with that in the early sessions.  Having never used one before, I continued to drown as the pressure built up in my nose each time I attempted to swim.  It was 3 days before I mastered how to use it without a nose clip.  

Combined with the underwater video coverage that I had previously seen of myself, I was quickly able to see exactly why I zig zag all over the place when in the open water.  And this is where the central snorkle comes in.  Not cheap and made even more expensive now as since returning home, I've been banned from using it in two local pools. Health and Safety gone banana's as usual !



We had 3 sessions a day, either 2 hours or 1.5 hours each and also another 1.5 hours in the classroom each evening to analyse the video coverage and dissect every inch of our strokes.  God, do I really swim like that, are you sure that's me?






The crowd I was with were brilliant.  Spending a whole week with like-minded people is very rewarding.  We understood one another, we helped one another and we laughed a lot.

Training under the watchful eye of Dan.

This course is very affordable.  And although us swimmers had a break between sessions, it was clear to see that Dan continued to work relentlessly, all day, getting stuff ready for our next session.


He was cutting videos for us to take home and analysing our strokes so he was well prepared for the following session.  Such value for money.

Quick photo-shoot before swim time.

I continued to worry whether Chris was getting bored waiting around all day for me to finish yet another gruelling session but with the temperatures soaring, he made use of the local golf course, a few cycle trips here and there and quite a lot of sun-bathing.

I left my weeks schedule on the coffee table and we arranged quick catch-ups between the sessions.  Not ideal, but for a one off, it worked.



After 3 days of drills, we were allowed into the pontoon.  Very warm, very shallow but a great place to practise the open water skills we had been learning all week.

Survivor !

I love this picture on the left.  

It almost looks like I am a professional butterfly swimmer, but Alas,  Dan was teaching us how to get a good start in shallow water and the technique was to keep hurling yourself off the bottom of the sea bed with huge leaps and butterfly arms until you reached deep water.  

So the truth of the matter is I am only in about 3 foot of water !   Well it looks good.

More shallow water start practise. 

Dan worked tirelessly to get my hand position right

Seconds away from being told
I am swimming the Iron man course after all!

The highlight of my week had to be when Ben Price, second in from the right, offered to swim the Lanzarote iron man course with me.

Dan had taken a few of us to the beach with the intention to just swim part of the course.  Because of the different standards of swimmers, he was unable to allow me to swim the whole course.  

Being an open water swimmer that is petrified of the open water is no easy thing you know.  I was kind of disappointed but relieved at the same time when he told me we need to stick together, so sorry Lorraine, you will have to stay with us.  So, its not my fault I can't swim the Lanzarote Iron man course - right !




But then, as Dan started to explain to everyone what we were doing, I realised he was leaving my name out.   Mmmmm. ??     Lorraine, Ben's gonna take you off and accompany you to swim the Iron man course.   "Wow, thank you so much"....    "*&@@*&* SHITE"!     I wondered who that extra bod was in our mini-bus?

My close friends will know that I am not adverse to letting my mind wander (beyond all reason) when I'm out in the open water.  Ben saved me, by the way, from Noah!   Yes he did!

All sorts of crazy pictures were going through my mind when the two of us swum way, way out.  Puffing like a good un, hanging onto Ben's silhouette, I truly believed that in the next Milli-second, a huge basking shark would take us, both whole. 

 

Coach Dan, me and Ben Price (who saved me from
a Killer Whale).

A bit like the Pinocchio in that whale scene.  And then I would be stuck in the whales mouth with Ben - working out how to get out. My only comfort, whilst I was swimming, was "Stay close to Ben, he's experienced, if we go in the whales mouth, he will know how to get out.   How I ever have time to think of such elaborate crap in such detail when I'm swimming, I will never know.

Here's the gang.  Last supper

The food at Club La Santa is fabulous

Chris had to amuse himself whilst I slogged away the hours

White legs and brown top - Too much time in the water

Pay Attention !

Henley 3k Race - August 2012

The most scariest of all my races so far !

The hottest of all days and a nice lift with the Edge family meant I could fully relax for this one.  Tony, Shaun. Vicky Alex and myself all representing the Redcaps.  

Me, Shivvers and Alex pre race

And we're off !

Just two laps of a marked out course and my life nearly came to an end half way through the second lap.  The Thames was extremely narrow at one point so the final turning buoy was in the centre of the river.  

An example of how the river narrowed at the top before curving round to the right.

You couldnt see this buoy until you were about 25metres from it as it was situated round a corner.  On approaching the corner, I could hear the sound of chains and engines getting louder and louder underwater.  At the point that it became deafening, I turned the corner, lifted my head and saw this barge below, coming straight towards me width-ways.  He had ignored all warnings of a race taking place and just in the nick of time, he put his breaks on and tried to turn.  I had whistles being blown at me from all angles to just swim, swim, swim back the other way.  As the race was nearing an end, the field had narrowed out so just my luck that I was the swimmer about to take the final turn.  I watched in horror as the barge took the buoy completed out!   All I could see was a huge amount of back-wash and waves churning up the water as he struggled to keep the barge under control.   How lucky was I ?

A more peaceful picture of the barge that almost wiped me out.  

Medal time - Champions.

Winners of the day.  Me, over 50 and Alex - very  much under 50 !

Vicky, Tony, Alex, Shivvers and me, post race.